I think this is going to be a confession post, I should maybe of put confession 1 in the title, I dont knoww, maybe I will later on after this is published. I thought I could do this, I really thought I could. But how can someone make you happy, but fuck with your mind at the same time?
I just dont want to be confused anymore :( I thought it would be okay, just keep everything bottled in dont tell anyone then maybe it could all disappear, but it reaaaally cant. It just doesn't work like this. I know deep inside that in the long run what I have to do will be so much better for me then staying the way it is. It will just hurt even more than it does now, and I dont want to feel like something is wrong with me anymore.
I have no idea what's going to happen in my life, and I hate that im 17 and I have to think about these things already.
I wish things could have worked out differently, I really do.
aww man, Im so fucked up, I dont even know anymore. And I even feel bad for writing this, because I know there is worse things that people can go through, I keep trying to be strong and stuffs, but I cant. I shouldnt even publish this tbh, and its stupid to think that the blog can actually be there for me.
I really want to be with my friends so much right now. AHHHHH.
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